Hubby dearest was slightly taken back when he figured out I was dieting. We’d said we’d up our healthy eating game about a month ago, but his love of lager and my love of, well, food (!), saw that last about three days.
I must give off signs that my steely determination has kicked in, because he gave me one look and said “bloody hell, you’re serious aren’t you?”
You see hubby is good at sticking to a diet generally, because wifey here plans and cooks all the meals. However he finds it extremely hard not to call into a shop on his way home from work for a couple of cans, and when I diet, his own need to get healthier seems to surface and he becomes guilt ridden about having a drink on an evening. Hence the panic striken face when he knows I’ve upped my game.
I explained the horrid photos and accompanying horrid feelings after the outing with my mum, and he said he thinks I look lovely, but he knows how upset I am and that I’m not happy in my own skin.
In his own way he tries to make me feel not quite so bad about being the size of a house side, and I think he feels partly responsible, having wanted three children and knowing a lot of the weight has found its way on during pregnancy.
However he isn’t responsible.
There are plenty of women in the world who have babies and regain slim, healthy bodies after birth, and I need to stop using pregnancy as an excuse for my weight gain.
I’m very conscious of the food my children eat, and we’ve been blessed so far with two out of the three being the least picky eaters you’ll meet, who also have a love of fruit and vegetables.
My main aim in life, as far as my children are concerned, is to send them out into the world as happy, balanced individuals, who are self sufficient. Having a healthy relationship with food is a massive part of that. I don’t want my daughter to get to the age I am now, and have been dieting for half her life like I have.
My oldest son is more and more aware of what makes people individual, and while he is an amazingly loving and kind little boy, accepting of all people, there will come a point when he realises that mummy has issues with her weight.
Family time is important to us, and we socialise around meals, so I don’t want to eat seperately from my family, just because I’m dieting.
I’ve been working out the calories in my evening meals, ensuring we do have this time together, and then using the remainder of my daily allowance to actively diet in the day when they are at school.
So far so good.
P.S. hubby figured out I was dieting after saying, “Have you lost weight?”, so I must be doing something right……